Are These Myths About Better Time Management Killing You?

Most people probably think their time management exercises are like eating fiber. Not tasty, but supposedly healthy. Have you had your dose of make-a-list and stick-to-it today? Only a couple days later, it becomes more like add-to-the-list, get sick and…you’re through with it. (Okay, there were a lot better rhymes I could have put in here, but I’ve run out of time.) What I mean is, do we really want to know how much time debt, sleep debt, and money debt we’re in?

The average tips on time management are really more like trans fat. The list of stuff you were supposed to do yesterday, the week before, or last month is clogging up your life. And this leads to mental constipation and eventual anxiety attack. Face it, some of us should not stick to our list.

Problem is, if we don’t have a list, things get way more complex. What we really need is a stress management course. So for now, let’s push aside the to-do list.

Instead, you might want to make a not-to-do list. Write down all the things you don’t want. All the things in your life that frustrate you. If you need a good cry or just want to let out a scream, that’s okay. I understand.

This little exercise might just give you some clarity on what you do want in your life. If you had that 50-hour day like you’ve always wanted, and everything was done, checked off and filed away…what would you love to do? (Besides sleep?) Well, okay, put sleep on the list. But no fair, pick something else too.

Now how do you get from where you are…to where you’d love to be? Here’s a secret. It won’t fix your life in a day, but I think it’s huge. Most of us don’t want to accept this fundamental truth, this no-brainer. Why? Accepting it is not easy. It’s just that the people who do accept it - they’re not stressed like the rest of us.

Here it is: You need food. You need clothes. You need shelter. Notice that Ferraris and houses on the beach are nowhere on this list. “But I don’t have a Ferrari or a house on the beach!” you protest. True, but liquor sales go up when the economy goes down. And liquor is expensive too. But before you label me as one of those religious ascetics, know that I’ve occasionally had an ale or two.

What I’m talking about here is having less and learning to still be happy. I once heard a guy explain how terrified he once was at the thought of having nothing. But when things got bad enough where he really did have nothing, it was nothing. True story.

What you do need is some hope. Here’s how to make some of your own: Make that list of things you love. Once again, the Ferrari and house on the beach probably don’t belong on this list. What could you reasonably enjoy on the weekend? Reading a good book? Time with your friends?

You don’t have friends? What about deciding what you’d like in a friend? Working to be a better friend? Reaching out to help others? You will find friends.

I love to hike a mountain. Well, it’s technically a mountain. It’s a one-and-a-half-mile long steep trail that’s more like going to the gym. It’s crowded, and sometimes you have to wait in the narrow spots.

Yet it’s such a high to reach the top. Wish I could drag all my friends up there to share this amazing feeling. All except for the time I saw this guy cussing someone else out for stepping 2 feet off the trail. Dude, you’re not really saving the environment!

What’s this have to do with time management? Everything. Take excellent care of yourself. It helps you get more done. If you have to schedule, be sure to schedule some fun.

So many times when I go to the mountain, I still have a pile of things undone. But when I get to the top, I’m really not worrying about my problems. And so far, there’s still food on the table.

Here’s another often overlooked time management help. Applying it should allow a good number of us to get more peaceful sleep than we’ve had in years. Thanks to Sonia Simone at Remarkable Communication for sharing this crucial step in getting things done: Get very clear about what you want, then be completely honest - no lies or excuses - about where you are now, with respect to that goal.

Why do we need this? One reason is, it’s so deceptively easy to rationalize, to excuse our way into procrastination. So easy to pile problems on ourselves by ignoring this one. How much has this thinking cost us? This one little excuse: “I can do that tomorrow”?

Sonia’s advice after this point is just as important: Don’t beat yourself to a pulp for your lack of progress. It’ll never bring you an inch closer to your goal. Don’t kill your engine just when you need to get moving.

Are you sitting at a hopelessly messy desk? What’s that costing you? In hours? In self-esteem? Hmmm. Better do a little straightening up myself. When you’re in control, de-cluttering takes only minutes a day. But let it go for a few busy days? You’ll have a full-fledged stress-laden mess on your hands.

Here’s a book that’ll have you truly amazed at why you’re messy, no matter who you are: Julia Morgenstern’s Organizing From The Inside Out. What she discovered - and certainly had to apply to herself - will have you transformed. Ridiculously worth the price I paid for it.

Our lives are packed. And figuring out our time is like packing our car for a trip. Fill it with the little fun stuff, and all of a sudden - no room for the big suitcase. But the other way around? You definitely have room for some of the fun stuff.

Decide to make this happen and something special will follow. All of those time management skills, like setting goals, are fun again.

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